In 2010, Sasaki Itaru of Japan, grieving the loss of his cousin to cancer, discovered something beautiful: a poem his cousin had written, titled The Phone of the Wind. The poem spoke of a mysterious phone, one that had no line, no connection—only the wind, which carried thoughts and feelings directly to the heart. “Whisper to the wind,” the poem…
Philip Simmons died 10 years after his diagnosis of ALS, at the age of 45. During this period of his life, he wrote the book Learning to Fall: The Blessings of an Imperfect Life. Philip Simmons wrote, “Only by letting go our grip on all that we ordinarily find most precious—our achievements, our plans, our loved ones, our very selves—can we…
The five stages of grief were first identified by Elizabeth Kübler-Ross in 1969 as Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. Grief isn’t a linear process. It isn’t as if we experience stage one, followed by stage two, etc. When we’re struck by grief, we’re all over the map, consumed by one major feeling and cycling through different aspects, moment by…
A Way To Go intention, within and for our community, is ‘death as part of life’. Death is often difficult, scary, and overwhelming. It is natural for us to want to distance ourselves from the pain of it, and there is an underlying belief in our culture that suffering can be avoided. It takes a lot of courage, and usually…
The holiday season can feel like a punishment when you’re grieving. Forced festivity seems like it was created just to make the knots in your stomach even tighter. Seeing other people throwing parties and decorating trees and wearing ugly sweaters on purpose might make you want to crawl under your bed…and stay there until January 2. So how can you muster…
The book with this title Megan Devine is about meeting grief and loss in a culture that doesn’t understand. She writes: Most of what passes for grief support these days is less than useful. Because we don’t talk about loss, most people—and many professionals—think of grief and loss as aberrations, detours from a normal, happy life. We believe that the…
“The work of the mature person is to carry grief in one hand and gratitude in the other and to be stretched large by them. How much sorrow can I hold? That’s how much gratitude I can give. If I carry only grief, I’ll bend toward cynicism and despair. If I have only gratitude, I’ll become saccharine and won’t develop…
At our local Quadra Library, there is now a shelving unit of books dedicated to topics relating to caregiving and end-of-life. As you come through the entrance, turn immediately to the right and you will see it bside the magazines. Community members are invited to browse the titles. If you see one you’d like to borrow, jot down the date, book title, and…
When thinking ahead to their own funeral service, a significant number of people choose “No Flowers, No Funeral, No Fuss”. By requesting no service, you may believe you are sparing your family unnecessary heartache, effort, and expense. You may know people whose lives are already crammed with too many activities, worries, and deadlines, or relatives who will feel obliged to…
Mary Oliver writes in Snow Geese Oh, to love what is lovely and will not last! What a task to ask of anything, or anyone, yet it is ours, and not by the century or the year, but by the hours. Everything we love in this world will not last. We will not last. “It’s never too late,” we say, smiling…