A perspective from Suzanne B. O’Brien RN, Founder & CEO Doulagivers Institute

Suzanne recalls her first experience witnessing a patient die as a young nurse. In a sterile hospital room filled with fluorescent lights and machines, she expected fear or chaos. Instead, she experienced something deeply peaceful and profound. As the woman took her final breaths, the atmosphere in the room shifted in a way that felt sacred. No one had taught her about this aspect of dying, yet she instinctively understood there was nothing to fear.

That moment shaped the course of her life. Over decades working as a hospice and oncology nurse and later as a leader in the global death doula movement, Suzanne has sat beside more than 1,000 people at the end of life. Again and again, she has witnessed peace, connection, and a natural unfolding during the dying process. Families reconnect, loved ones gather, and moments of extraordinary clarity and love emerge. Far from being only tragic or frightening, death often reveals a profound humanity that many people never expect.

Suzanne believes modern society has forgotten that death is sacred. As death moved out of homes and into medical institutions, people became disconnected from the rituals, conversations, and communal support that once helped them navigate grief and loss. Today, many families feel unprepared for death, conversations about dying are often avoided, and grief is frequently rushed or minimized. Dying can even come to feel like a failure rather than a natural stage of life.

This disconnection, she says, is where fear grows. When people no longer see death, talk about it, or participate in caring for the dying, it becomes unknown — and the unknown is often frightening. Yet Suzanne argues that death itself has not changed. What has changed is our relationship to it.

She believes there is an opportunity to reclaim a healthier understanding of dying by bringing openness, compassion, and ritual back into the process. Talking honestly about death, supporting families, and recognizing the sacredness of life’s final transition can reduce fear and help people live more fully.

After thousands of end-of-life experiences, Suzanne remains convinced that death is not something to fear, but something to understand and honour. Even in the most clinical settings, she says, there is often a deep peace present at the end of life — if we remember how to see it.