Elisabeth Kübler-Ross: Changing the Way We Understand Grief

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross didn’t just study grief—she transformed how the world talks about it. Before her, death and dying were often taboo topics, quietly avoided in hospitals and living rooms alike. But through her empathy, curiosity, and deep respect for human experience, Kübler-Ross opened the door to honest conversations about loss and healing.

Born in Switzerland in 1926, Kübler-Ross trained as a psychiatrist and later moved to the United States. It was in the 1960s, while working with terminally ill patients, that she began to truly reshape our understanding of grief. At the time, patients facing the end of life were often isolated, with doctors and family members hesitant to speak openly about what was happening. Kübler-Ross believed this silence was not only unkind, but harmful. She started listening—really listening—to what dying patients had to say.

Her groundbreaking book, On Death and Dying, published in 1969, introduced the now-famous “Five Stages of Grief”: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. While these stages were initially described in the context of terminal illness, they quickly resonated more broadly with anyone experiencing significant loss. Kübler-Ross never meant for the stages to be a rigid formula; rather, they offered a way to understand the emotional rollercoaster that grief can be.

The Five Stages helped normalize what so many people feel when facing loss—confusion, emotional ups and downs, and the sense that grief isn’t a straight line. People found comfort in the idea that they weren’t alone, and that their feelings were part of a shared human journey.

Kübler-Ross’s work was both compassionate and courageous. She sat with dying patients when others wouldn’t. She spoke openly about death in a time when it was still considered impolite or even dangerous. And perhaps most importantly, she gave voice to those who were often unheard.

Beyond On Death and Dying, she wrote more than 20 books, including On Grief and Grieving (co-authored with David Kessler), which brought her work full circle, applying her insights to those mourning the loss of loved ones. Her writing is gentle, clear, and full of empathy. Through it, she helps readers understand that grief is not something to “get over,” but something to move through—and that healing takes time, patience, and kindness toward oneself.

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross passed away in 2004, but her legacy lives on in the way we talk about grief today. Hospices, therapists, and support groups around the world still draw on her insights. Her courage to face the most difficult parts of life—and to invite others to do the same—remains deeply inspiring.

In a world that often rushes past pain, Kübler-Ross taught us to pause, to listen, and to honor each other’s experiences with love and understanding. And that, perhaps, is her greatest gift.

Death The Final Stage of Growth and On Death And Dying are available in the Way To Go library shelf at the southwest corner of the Quadra Island branch of the Vancouver Island Regional Library.